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Build an Upward Spiral Instead
Many of us are familiar with the metaphorical image of the "downward spiral" - of things getting worse, rapidly, personally or...
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Apr 4, 20233 min read


Emotional Ergonomics: Boundaries and Self-Compassion
Boundaries have, in some ways, become a buzzword. People use "boundary" to describe personal boundaries, relationship agreements, rules,...
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Dec 8, 20217 min read


Hard to Open, Hard to Close, and Hard to Send - Communication Styles
Some people (like yours truly) are talkers - they show interest by sharing the everyday and mundane in any format available to them...
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May 25, 20213 min read


Why Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory, broadly speaking, is looking at human success as determined by connection and emotional bond-building. The original...
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Apr 16, 20215 min read


Needs and Wants
One of the big upsides of polyamory folks often point out is that you have the option of getting your emotional and relational needs met...
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Apr 5, 20215 min read


Walking Through Shadow
I wrote a while back about how our partners can support us when we’re having our ‘darker’ emotions. I argued, in that post, that a lot of...
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Jan 4, 20213 min read


Is This a Hill I’m Really Willing to Die On?
So, I’ve talked about how fighting to win is, generally, fighting to lose - and because of that, there’s a strong corollary to that...
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Dec 28, 20202 min read


Apology Languages
Have you heard of Apology Languages? Do you know yours? We’ve previously discussed Love Languages, and how those five categories can...
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Oct 28, 20203 min read


Fighting to Lose
No one wins when you fight to win. I shared this post on my personal Facebook page this week, which was attributed to someone named...
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Sep 11, 20202 min read


What Can Self-Care Look Like, Anyway?
We talk a lot about self-care in polyamory. We talk about it as a necessity; we talk about it in opposition to caring for others or...
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Sep 8, 20206 min read


My Best Friends Are Polyamorous...
...I'm not. Today's post brought to you by the generous and anonymous monogamous heart-friend of the blog who we'll call Lily because...
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Aug 7, 20204 min read


Brain Surgery
So, I don’t know if you might have seen this coming, what with the contents of “Love in the Time of Covid 2: Pandemic Bugaloo”; but my...
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Aug 3, 20202 min read


Sometimes Your Emotions Are Hard
Not all self-discoveries are positive. Sometimes, the things you find about yourself when you’re self-examining that you need to work on....
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Jul 6, 20205 min read


Somerville, MA Expands Domestic Partnership
It's been reported everywhere from Wickedlocal to The New York Times, and I don't think I can turn on any form of social media without...
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Jul 2, 20203 min read
Assertive and Passive Communication
There’s a lot of factors that feed into successful relationship agreements, into feeling free to express yourself, into being...
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Jun 22, 20203 min read


Gates and Guided Tours: Unfolding Secrets To New Partners
If we could build a model of my mind (very different from my brain, I’ve seen loads of those), it would be the midieval castle at Haut...
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May 11, 20204 min read


Just The STI Facts, Ma'am
If you don’t get my extremely dated reference, that man is a character from one of the first police procedurals, the 1950s Dragnet, Joe...
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Mar 11, 202014 min read
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