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Suggested Reading

Polyamory and Relationship Books for Everyone

This page contains affiliate links; all opinions and content are my own.

Laura Boyle

My book! Ready for Polyamory outlines different types of polyamorous relationships so that you can find your flavor of consensually non-monogamous relationship, and go in with both eyes open to the possibilities before you. It contains a lot of practical conversations to have as well as theory about non-monogamy.

Dedeker Winston

Despite the gendered title, a good primer on non-monogamy for folks of all genders.

Lola Phoenix

An inclusive and straightforward text that contains awareness and consideration of the needs of neurodivergent folks, gender minorities, and folks with various disabilities in a way I have mostly not seen in polyamorous writing. Not just for the anxious among us, very recommended for those new to polyamory and those who haven't seen themselves in mainstream advice.

Justin L. Clardy

This book is a brilliantly concise, direct philosophical argument for the moral permissiveness of non-monogamy. Clardy is clear; he lays out what non-monogamous identity is in ways that are at once inclusive and defined; and he addresses the principal objections to non-monogamy over 147 pages.

Juan Carlos Perez-Cortes

A monograph covering relationship anarchist theory and practice - by covering political anarchist theory and how it expands into networks of care and then how this relationally applies between people. If you're intrigued by the idea of relationship anarchy but confused about how it could apply in real life, pick this up.

Jase Lindgren, Dedeker Winston, and Emily Sotelo

A collection of the tools created and  popularized by the podcast Multiamory. Many of us have been using these tools for years, so having them collected so well is very convenient, and if you aren't familiar with the podcast it's a nice substitute for listening to the large back catalogue of episodes.

Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

One of the original books on open relationships, updated in 2017 to give a modern twist to the now-classic philosophy (innovative at its first edition release) that being easy isn't an insult because - "Where is the value in being difficult?"

Dr. Liz Powell

A comprehensive guide to choosing your own flavor of ethical non-monogamy and switching between them openly over the course of your relationship life, in communication with your needs and your partners.

Tristan Taormino

The best guide to coming to polyamory from a base of monogamous couplehood, in my opinion. Tristan Taormino has written other books but Opening Up holds up really well.

Elisabeth Sheff

The book you give you family member or friend who wants to understand and learn more - a quick read, inexpensive, and aimed at someone who isn't polyamorous themself.

Kathy Labriola

I talk about this workbook more than any other book on the blog - it's a great text and series of exercises to work on jealousy and examine your emotions. I've owned two copies, and recommend it all the time.

Kathy Labriola

From the author of the jealousy workbook, an examination of the reasons for and particular challenges with breakups in polyamorous relationships.

Jessica Fern

An examination of attachment theory without the biases of monogamy and structural assumptions around how to ensure security in our relationships, by a polyamorous mental health professional. A breath of fresh air for not having to dig through advice that doesn't apply.

Kevin Patterson

A detailed and both first and third-person examination of the experiences of people of color in polyamorous and queer communities.

Raven Kaldera

A look at the complexities of polyamory in power exchange relationships, especially M/s relationships.

Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

Half of the series giving a why and how of BDSM relationships, from the authors of the Ethical Slut. A fun read!

Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

The other half of the series on BDSM play and relationships by Easton and Hardy - together with the new topping book, a great intro for people looking to understand or explain why kink.

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