Teach and speak very authoritatively about all aspects of non-monogamy - even those that you’ve never experienced.
Talk about “things I’ve observed” a lot, with very knowing nods and looks.
Make sure to talk down about every local community organizer possible, despite the fact that you need to work with them to actually teach anywhere.
Be SHOCKED and APPALLED when you can’t get booked to teach at larger venues because you’ve alienated the folks in 3.
Sleep with some of them so as to get booked places.
Never admit that.
Admit that years later when you write a book, but claim that it’s proof of misogyny.
Use the places you booked as your references and not the people, because you’re still doing 3, just with slightly less strident language, because now those are your exes, and you advocate not speaking badly about those.
Hope one of those exes becomes a Local Cult Leader so you can start speaking badly about them again.
If they do, make a new class against whatever their founding principle is and thereby evolve from a Teacher/Expert (Because that’s real) into The Rival Cult Leader.
*Hope that everyone has been reading long enough to recognize your archetypes and sense of humor.
I’ll be teaching my Beyond the Kitchen Table: Modes and Models of Parallel Polyamory class at Tethered to Wifi 2.0, the digital version of Tethered Together, on Saturday March 20 from 11:30am -1pm. The con as a whole runs from the 19-21 and you can get tickets at tetheredtogether.net. Tickets are $25 until the end of February, when the price will go up until sales close the day before the event. There are a lot of great presenters on topics ranging from relationships to movement to rope and a couple cool shows; come play with us!
The giveaway is still running, enter all week.
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