Change and the Power of Paradigm Shifts
- Laura Boyle
- Jul 24, 2024
- 2 min read
The biggest paradigm shift between traditional monogamy and non-traditional relationships of any kind (relationship anarchy, whether you practice non-monogamy or not; and most non-monogamies) is viewing relationships as serving people, rather than people as serving relationships.
That is, it's not up to us to protect the structure we've picked for our relationships against change or outside influence, but rather we should be trying to fulfill our needs and wants in relationship - in all our many human relationships - and the way we do this gets to flexibly shift and change year to year without being a failure in any way. Folks also get to use one of the primary skills of successful non-monogamy and get self-aware about their own needs and decide how best to manage those. I often call this being the project manager of your own needs - deciding which needs you manage yourself, which ones partners help you meet, which ones you meet in relationship with friends, which ones with family, etc.
By releasing the idea that it's our relationship structure that needs protection, or that "the relationship" is the thing we serve, we can treat problems as the problem and our partners and friends as our collaborators. Our relationships that change aren't broken or failures, they're undergoing transitions. Sometimes these transitions are hard; cultural messages can make them harder. But we can allow for honesty and openness about ourselves and vulnerability with the people we love. As the RA manifesto says, "trust is better" - and we can trust each other with emotional truth about where we're at and what we need and dont need from relationship right now.
------
Join me for two classes coming up --- July 28 I'm teaching WTF is relationship anarchy with Annie Undone - tickets at https://wtfisra.eventbrite.com and August 11 Libby Sinback and I are teaching Turn and Face the Change - tickets at https://facethechange1.eventbrite.com
As a trusted service center, the Lufthansa Airlines Athens Office helps travelers manage various aspects of their trips. From reservations and schedule inquiries to special travel arrangements and customer support, the office provides efficient assistance. Lufthansa’s commitment to quality service is reflected in the professional guidance offered, helping passengers travel confidently and conveniently.
HIL Software enables Hardware-in-the-Loop testing by simulating real-world operating conditions for embedded systems and controllers. It helps validate software functionality, identify issues early, reduce development risks, and improve system reliability, performance, and safety before deployment.
Great information on anti-worm treatments! The content is simple, clear, and very useful for understanding how these medications work. It’s important to spread awareness on such topics, and this post does it really well.
Great post! The information shared here is truly helpful and easy to understand. I appreciate the effort put into explaining the topic clearly for readers. Content like this helps people learn more about important health topics, including medicines such as Sildenafil in a simple and informative way. Keep sharing valuable insights like this!
Wing foiling in Portugal is an amazing experience for water sports lovers. With steady winds, beautiful coastlines, and excellent riding conditions, Portugal is a great destination for both beginners and experienced riders looking to enjoy this exciting sport.