I saw a quote the other day that knocked me off my feet for a second. It was attributed to Lavitaloca Sawyers, who you should consider following on Facebook if you like short daily reminders of polyamory and relationship truths, and it said "I can't do anything about who I was before I had the tools to be a better person...I don't respond that way anymore... I am not ashamed of these things because they don't make me a bad person, just a person with a complicated past." I think all of us have a few bad habits we've managed to work our ways out of that complicated our pasts - and maybe shaped our presents.
The part that struck me was "I am not ashamed of these things." You would think it would be self-evident to someone who thinks about, teaches about, and probably overthinks relationships and non-monogamy regularly that I shouldn't carry shame for past mistakes. And some I don't. But I have a mental clock that needs to go off before I can let go of some of that shame, even after I've changed the behavior, and the reminder that I don't need to carry shame for anything I have changed or am making good faith effort to change was something I needed.
What reminders or reassurance do you need going into this weekend?
