Love is Not a Loaf of Bread
Meadow Perry is a talented Philadelphia-based bubble magician and character performer, most often as her beloved character Meadowlark the Faerie, as well as friend of the blog and telemour of its owner and typical writer. As with all our guest posters with ongoing projects and performances, you will find a link to her site(s) below the post.
Gawd, I love bread. Especially homemade, artisan starter breads. YUM. My only issue is that it never lasts and everyone in my house eats it all. They take what they think are the good parts and leave the crust. It’s always gone way too quick. It is a good thing that love is not a loaf of bread.
Love does not run out. I can give love to my oldest son and still have the same amount of love for my younger son. I can give love to my work friend and still have love for my college friend. In the same way, I can give love to my girlfriend and still have love for my boyfriend.
I love to love. I also love to be loved. Polyamory allows me to do both those things, in abundance.
4 Things I love about Polyamory:
1. Various needs are fulfilled, especially when it comes to love languages.
We all have different passions and needs. I especially value quality time with my romantic partners, so I may enjoy watching a show with one partner and going on a long hike with another. I can build the whole "slice" I need for a day, the whole "loaf" I need for a week. I also know that words of affirmation are not my strong suit, so I love that my partner might be able to have that need fulfilled by someone else if I’m not being lovey dovey enough with my words. I’m working on being better at words of affirmation so in that aspect, polyamory helps me lean into the love languages that are not my strong suit.
2. The strong emphasis on communication.
The best part of polyamory for me is the weight that is put on honesty and being non-judgmental. It’s important to know your partner(s) emotional boundaries and to respect that. Being honest with others forces you to be honest with yourself first. I love that in order to express something to a partner, I have to go inward first and check my intentions and what I truly want or need. I feel that this makes for healthier relationships. - No one is worried they're "taking too much" in expressing this, it's not that "it's a loaf of bread and my slice is too big" problem, or that there's only room to "get crumbs".
3. Relationships are not bound or stuck on an escalator.
Perhaps one of my favorite things about polyamory is that I feel my relationships are not bound to be defined or stuck on an escalator. I have had a partner come and go in my life, and it felt natural to just pick up like old friends. Again, there's no worry that you're "leaving them crumbs" by doing that. It’s also great to not have this societal weight of a one and only, get married, buy a house, have kids. It is certainly ok to want those things but I’ve found in polyamory, more people are ok with not needing those things to have a happy healthy relationship.
4. Your relationships become a support network.
This one is a little more emotional for me because I do not have a large family. The bonds that I’ve made because of polyamory have supported me in a multitude of ways. There are little things that mean a lot to me from being each other’s therapist to being an active participant and presences in one’s life. There’s always someone to turn to when I need it even if it’s something as silly as asking an opinion on a new dress. Those little things are life and they are important. It's the "breaking bread" that makes up everyday life.
I used to describe my needs as a health meter from a video game but that was never quite it. I have found my favorite way to describe polyamory is in relation to bread.
Love is not a loaf of bread.